i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
