The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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