...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
