it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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