my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
