whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
