Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
