So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
