Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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