if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
