so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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