I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
