So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
