New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
