So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
