what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
