Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
