Swine flu. Run for my life!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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