I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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