The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
