i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
