I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
