Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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