Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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