did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
