Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
