He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
