I love black thongs
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
