I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
