Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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