Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
