We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
