smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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