Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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