JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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