Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just threw up on my dentist
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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