i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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