No awkward lesbian experiences without me
one two three fourrrrnication!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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