Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
