Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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