two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
