I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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