Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
