ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
