I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
