i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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