Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
