she looked like the bat from fern gully.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
