yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
