i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
