Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
