You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
