I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
