id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
