every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
