i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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